I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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