I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize