She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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