I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
