i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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