mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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