I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
