so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize