your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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