i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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