Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I cut my penus on the lid.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
