Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
