I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
