he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
