guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
