How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
