I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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