i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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