You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
