The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
