Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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