I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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