I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
