umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
