I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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