now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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