hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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