so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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