we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
