and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
