Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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