IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize