Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
