Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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