Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
