i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
