I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
