even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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