Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize