I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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