Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it was like eating out sand paper
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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