I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
