You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
