I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Green mimosas i think yes
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
