I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
