I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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