i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
