Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
