ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
