I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
