is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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