The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
