oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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