in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
nutella sex= disaster
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
