And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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