She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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